Lots of stuff going on recently. I left my job at TCAP mentoring youth. I got a full time job at a manager of a comic book shop. Which is awesome. Meanwhile, Christina has been in the hospital lots, which is why no blog recently. I worked basically three jobs the last two weeks while I finished out my TCAP duties. Christina is in Oklahoma city with her mom and Autumn. She is pregnant and has a staph infection in both kidneys which is causing a lot of concern. Her platelets are low, she has gestational diabetes, and she will likely have surgery Monday to drain fluid from her kidneys, which is a high risk surgery.

I am frustrated with a lot of things. One of the primary narratives of following Christ is suffering, usually for the benefit of others. This is the Christ posture. However, much of what Christina, Autumn, and I have been going through over the last few years doesn’t seem like anyone is getting blessed, yet we are simply suffering. I would like to say that by now we are doing well enough that we can bless others, but it seems we keep sinking lower and lower. Granted, God seems to never let us fall down to such an extent that one of us dies, our family breaks up, or something horrible liek that happens. But I would be lying if I said that it wasn’t on my mind a lot. What is next? Will one of us die? Will Christina get so sick she will not be able to live a normal life? Will we lose our house? Will I lose my ability to beat Metroid in less than 3 hours (yeah i did that)? I am not sure what will happen.

I feel like Job. Not in those ways I used to get all self-pitying. I think I am really starting to see his perspective. I won’t let myself walk away from God. I don’t care how bad it gets. I guess that is part of faith. I am not saying my spiritual life has been aces, but in the midst of everything that has happened, I am glad I still believe that the way of God in Christ is the path I am on.